Take a Hand

Continuing now with the whole idea that Parents, not children, are our most valuable asset.

An asset is; a useful and desirable thing or quality. So in the context of Webster's definition; what I'm saying here is that Parents, not children, are our most valuable, useful and desirable quality within the communities in which we all live and serve.

Recently on another pilgrimage to Florida and while riding public transportation, I heard the following recorded message over the loud speaker as we approached our destination; "Please gather your belongings and taking small children by the hand, watch your step as you disembark."

I thought to myself; "Who are you talking to?" Having no small children with me, I thought; "Should I take the hand of any small child?" Of course, taking the hand of the nearest small child would no doubt be met with stiff resistance from the relative or parent the child was actually with.

My guess is, the recorded message was talking to the parent or relative of the child. OK, so I thought; "Why would you need to tell a parent to take the hand of their own child?" Perhaps children have been left on the bus before ... I could see that happening.

As a matter of fact, I was on one of these buses earlier in which a child was really acting badly. I thought to myself; "You better watch yourself chica, the parent you're with could ignore the admonition to take your hand, and leave you for the driver to deal with."

But I digress.

Like I said last time, (Our Most Valuable Asset) I get it. I understand why we as a society feel compelled to marginalize Parents, even to the point where a recorded message on a bus feels compelled to manage parents whether they are mis-behaving or have ever mis-behaved.

I like the whole idea of taking a hand though. The notion that we are better when we're connected is not only good common sense, it's rooted in Biblical truth. Ecclesiastes chapter four talks about; 'two is better than one .." and ".. woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."

The buddy system works. We learned the value of taking our neighbors hand in Kindergarten. As adults we do carry on this tried and true model of service and support. At Cherry Street Mission Ministries I see the community intersect around this whole idea every day.

The community of people who rally around the hungry, the hopeless, the addicted and homeless are offering a hand ... they are, you are, taking your neighbors hand. I love it.

What is important for us to acknowledge however, is we must not take the hand of someone who needs our help based on our prerequisite musings about whether they are worthy of our help. For example, if you take the hand of your neighbor who is strung out on heroin. You are doing so, knowing full well, that they made significant choices to be a drug addict. They certainly were not born a heroin addict.

However when it comes to mis-behaving parents, taking them by the hand doesn't seem to be our primary urge as a community. What seems to be our 'out of the gate' response is to take charge of their children or to even in small ways marginalize them to the point where they are nearly unrecognizable as a person of distinction.

I think what we learned in Kindergarten is all we really needed to learn; Take a Hand. Be a buddy. Don't let your neighbor stay on the ground, help him up.

Here's today's question; Am I willing to take the hand of the nearest Parent?"

Two is better than one. What you are having a difficulty doing alone, is better done anyway with the help of someone else.

The Community Briefing on the Philip Project is just around the corner on Tuesday, May 25th at 8:00 a.m. The Briefing will be at the newly forming South Toledo Community Center, which is the old First Lutheran Church building on the corner of Walbridge and Broadway in South Toledo.

For additional information or to register, please contact Liz Simon at lsimon@cherrystreetmission.org

Dan
Illuminating the Darkness

Our Most Valuable Asset

I get it. I want to start off by saying; I get it. As you read on, please refer back to my acknowledgment; I get it. I get the community think that got us here - did you hear? I get it!

The flyer that came across my desk that day was an invitation for an evening of rally and support for the youth of our community. There would be at this event, college admission people, career professionals, job developers, agencies encouraging volunteerism and a wide array of other professional competencies within our community - all assembling to reach our youth.

Sounds like a great idea - and it is.

It was the statement within the invitation though, that caught my attention. The statement was intended to be the rallying cry for all would be attenders. It was meant to raise awareness and solicit involvement;

Come out and support our communities most valuable asset, our youth.

I value the well known and oft told tale of the king who wanted a new robe for the annual parade. Long story short, the tailor assigned to the task convinced the king that the robe he made was the best robe any king had ever worn. By describing in explicit detail each thread, weave and color, he filled the kings mind with the splendor of the image he described - it was exactly what the king wanted to hear and wanted to see. The tailor carefully placed the robe on the king and stood him in front of the mirror. The king saw what the tailor was describing and it was exactly as he had imagined and hoped the robe would be.

The day of the parade the king was anxious to show his people the regal of his office by the robe he wore. As he paraded down main street, the townspeople all told the king what he wanted to hear; 'The robe was indeed beautiful', 'There has never been a more wonderful robe' they all said. It was the boy however, who only knew what his eyes told him and who was just crazy enough to say it out loud;

The king has no clothes!

Youth are NOT our most valuable asset - there I said it!

Presently, the 'youth parade' we've all been invited to is tantamount to the tailor in the story. Someone, somewhere in the past few decades stood the community in front of the mirror and wove in descriptive detail an image we all wanted to hear. My brothers and sisters brace yourself; on the topic of youth as our most valuable asset - we're naked as a jay-bird.

After years of repetitive community think, we have a ton of right people doing right things and for the right reasons regarding our youth. Unfortunately, as a community we are also completely going about it in all the wrong ways. The problem plaguing our youth has been correctly diagnosed; they're in trouble. But the 'tailor', or common held belief, has prescribed the wrong solution which is - let's focus on the youth. It makes sense; if the youth are in trouble, lets focus on the youth.

Like I said, I get it. I just don't accept it!

The right solution?? Seats and tray tables in the upright position please - brace yourself once again for impact;

It's parents! Parents are Our Most Valuable Asset.

More than home, more than family - it's parents. Presently in our society, parents in most cases and in reference to THEIR children, are talked to instead of talked with. They are often considered 'stake-holders' in THEIR children's education. Are too often thought of as a problem, rather than a solution regarding THEIR children, and ignored with prejudice rather than observed with distinction when it comes to THEIR children.

We have to change this. To be clear, I'm not talking about 'parenting' which focuses on what we want parents to do - I'm talking about focusing on the human being called parent.

Here's today's question; 'Isn't it time to fire the tailor?'

If you're interested in more, contact Liz at lsimon@cherrystreetmission.org and tell her you would like to sign up for the informational session I'm conducting on 'The Philip Project' scheduled for late May.

Dan
A Runner