Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Blind Spot

Amy, in our Development office at Cherry Street said the other day; 'I know this will end up in your blog'. When she said that, I was fairly certain it would not - but as in most things, Amy got it right.

The thing she got right?


On Thursday of this week, and in my car to go home for the evening, I drove right into a steel pole in the parking lot. While it was all of three feet of distance from park to crash, it caused considerable damage to the front of the car. The funny thing (funny boo-hoo, not funny ha-ha) is that I've driven AROUND that pole for nearly nine years. I acknowledged it's existence long ago and was aware of it's ability to be a steel pole.

By the way, the pole is fine. It just gave me a wink and kept standing.

In my case with the steel pole, as in most instances where barriers are concerned, most of us already have a good sense of where barriers are in our lives and have a reasonable appreciation for what they're capable of. However, not all barriers are that way. Some barriers show up in the most unusual places and at the most unexpected times, and some barriers are hidden deep within you.

A barrier is; 'Anything that restrains or obstructs progress or access; a limit or boundary of any kind'. The fact is, we all have them.

I was talking with a good friend of mine this week. A retired judge with considerable wisdom, we were debating terms and definitions of a project we're working on ... yes, I was debating terms and definitions with an attorney. Frankly when I'm in conversation with him I imagine myself sitting in front of a talking encyclopedia. The sheer wealth of information he holds is staggering and the joy of learning from him is one of my few delights.

But here's the problem.

As is with me and you, my friend's immense knowledge and body of work that accompanies that same knowledge has become a barrier. His objection in our debate took me by surprise. His barrier showed up in our conversation unexpectedly and in an unusual place in our relationship.

His long held view, though right in principle is wrong in practice as it stands in contrast to present day realities - in short, his vast experience on the bench and in practice have become an obstruction that may limit access or progress.

The good news is, he is working it out. He has been around long enough to acknowledge a barrier when he sees one, especially when it's with him.

Can you say the same thing? Are you able to see the barrier within you? Not so much the external barriers - like my steel pole, or the unexpected barriers like I found in the relationship with my friend, but the hidden barriers that are in you - the barriers in your blind spot.

Here's today's question; 'Are you, your own obstruction to access or progress?'

If we all have barriers, then we all have blind spots - for sure! But if you're not desperate in the right kind of way then you won't be able to navigate well around those barriers because 'blind spot barriers' need the subsidy of a trusted friend or ally.

In fact, you may have desperation right now but your desperation my be about the fact you keep hitting the same barrier - again, you're repeated crashing suggests its in your blind spot - you can't see it - you need someone else to help ... hello?

Desperation creates friction, friction creates traction and traction creates movement.

Get desperate about the right thing though. Be desperate enough to expose yourself to someone else who has a 'line of sight' to your barrier. Oh my friend its scary to allow someone else to provide specific navigation around your barriers. But the alternative is to continue allowing your future to look like your past. Without trusted companionship you'll keep running into the same barrier.

Wouldn't it be great when my car comes out of the shop this week, I don't drive into the same pole?

Dan
A Runner

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Power of If

"God helps those who help themselves."

You can't find the word 'if' in this oft used phrase, but it's definitely an 'if' statement. I've heard people use this phrase as though it's in the Bible. Of course it's not in the Bible and as a matter of fact, it's not even a true statement about God. The whole idea that God will only help the helpful is not even in His nature. I think what's happened over time, as usual of course, is that people have taken what is true about them and made it true about God. We would do well to reverse the flow and have what is true about God be true about us.

Now that's not to say God isn't an 'if' God, because He is. In the search engine I use, there are 3,473 occurrences of the word 'if' in the King James Version and 3,522 occurrences in the New King James Version.

The word 'if' is a pivotal word for sure. It is the kind of word that puts pause, hope or doom in any statement. And therein lies the power of the word. 'IF' It's the ultimate conversational speed bump.

Not always is the word 'if' a speed bump, there are times even within the above mentioned occurrences that the word 'if' is used less dramatically as in the example of Noah in Genesis 8:8; "He also sent out from himself a dove, to see if the waters had receded from the face of the ground." However, even in this context the word 'if' is still pivotal in that Noah needed to know whether the water was still high or was it beginning to recede.

Think about it, without the word 'if' we wouldn't be able to frame or define consequence. The word 'if' is the fulcrum or tipping point in all our lives. The question that must be used when working with others, or even ourselves is; where will the tipping point be placed? Where you put the word 'if' in relationship is critical to how failure or success will be measured.

For example, the word 'if' introduced too early in the relationship can derail intention and placed too late in the relationship can weaken hope that anything will ever change.

IF is a powerful word.

Quoting part of a verse doesn't help either, as in; "I'm the head and not the tail." Partially quoted from the book of Deuteronomy chapter 28 verse 13, which in it's entirety says; "And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail; you shall be above only and not beneath, if you heed the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, and are careful to observe them."

Spoiler Alert! You're not the head or above anything baby unless (if) you obey God and keep His commandments. IF you are an obeyer of God and a keeper of His commands - then quote on brother, I'm with you.

God has indeed placed 'if' in our relationship with Him and as a wise Father has measured 'if' for us in just the right places - not too early and not too late. He has placed the tipping points in all the right places. He loves us unconditionally and has forgiven us far more times than we've even forgiven ourselves - and yet has critically embedded 'if' so that we may know the boundary of our straight and narrow followership of Him ... now that's love. That's God!

Here's today's question, starting with yourself and then moving towards others; "Where is the critically placed 'if' in the conversation of relationships you're in"?

If the word 'if' is too early in the relationship, you're far to legalistic to be free enough to free others and if it's too late in the relationship, you're far to loose to be of any real service to those around you.

This is why I teach principle six in my Rescue Intensive; "Time is not a factor when you pursue the inevitable of God". When you take time off your wrist and build time into the person or relationship, then and only then will you know where the fulcrum or tipping point of the word 'if' belongs.

Dan
A Runner